In the beginning of 2019, I started to etch out ideas that have stuck with me for quite some time. I’d like to say that I’ve coined these phrases originally, but I’m guessing that someone, somewhere out there has said the exact same words in the exact same sequence before I have. But in case no one has, here’s me taking a stab at formulating these ideas into words.

Strive for Progress, Not Perfection

To me, striving for progress means to always try and better yourself, regardless of how bad (or good) you’re doing. In all facets of life - personal, professional, educational - I truly believe that everyone should be striving to somehow enhance themselves.

In a very good video, Dr. Jordan B. Peterson explains that in the pursuit of improvement, we struggle to become better. And in that struggle, we find purpose and meaning in life. I couldn’t agree more with this sentiment.

When faced with struggle in the pursuit of progress, you have two options.

On one hand, you could give up and revert to your old habits or tendencies. That’s fine. You tried. In this sense, what you were striving for was not worthwhile enough to you; you didn’t want it enough.

On the other hand, you invest that extra amount - that little spark - that fuels you over the edge and gets you to a new level.

In either one of these outcomes you’ve done some pretty meaningful stuff - you’ve either:

• Identified some amount of effort or desire that was simply not enough to get you where you wanted to go. In this case, now you know that next time, it’s going to require more.
• Made it to another stage or level in one aspect of your life that you’ve been striving for. Congratulations! Celebrate the small life victory and bask in your fleeting feeling of purpose.

The latter half of this mantra - Not Perfection - really hits home when you get to one of the two outcomes I’ve described above.

In one case, you nailed it and you’ve succeeded - you’ve done something that you’ve never done before or made a profound realization that is driving your life forward. Great! Keep going! The good news is that you’re capable of even more. There is no end in sight - you keep pushing forward. You haven’t “made it” but you’ve taken an incremental step above where you were.

In the other, admittedly more sober outcome, you’ve failed at making that next push in life. You didn’t get that job. You didn’t pass that class. You can’t figure something out. That’s okay. This is life. Stuff like this happens - and is going to keep happening.

But you have done one very important thing. The series of events that led up to this so called failure (I prefer to call it a learning experience) have not produced your desired outcome. Therefore, maybe the next series of events that you try will produce your desired outcome. This is where it gets good.

Surely this is easy to see for someone who has been there and overcame a huge failure or who has seen steady progress over time. But in individual moments it can be soul-crushing or feel devastating. Try to trust the process of progressing and keep your chin up.

By continually striving for progress and not focusing on the misconception of perfection, you find meaning and purpose in life.

Rarely are Things in Life So Absolute

“You’ll never have a good job!”

“I’m never going to pass that test.”

In our world, there really are very few things that are written in stone; pretty much everything is malleable. It’s all about perspective.

I like to joke with my friends in mid-conversation when they make some ridiculous claim or talk in such strong absolutes, similar to the facetious quotes above. There are just too many outcomes and stochastic processes that are ongoing at any one time to know anything with 100% certainty.

At certain junctures in life it might be difficult to see that things might actually end up differently than how you’re envisioning. It could end up being better and it could end up being worse. But wrapping yourself up in the idea that they can’t change - that they won’t change - is stressful and disillusioning.

Recognizing that everyone has an innate ability to change or impart change on others is motivating and enlightening. 

What if you didn’t get that “good” job? Then you started working part-time just to pay your bills and end up meeting someone that drastically changes your life. Does that job matter so much in hind-sight?

What if you didn’t pass that test? Then you flunk out of college to pursue your passion, start your own business and enjoy successes. Does it matter that you didn’t pass that test?

The single, isolated moment that gets tangled up in a strong absolute statement can be mistaken for something that is negatively life-altering. And surely it can feel like it in the moment. But by broadening your perspective, you can re-tune your focus and understand that no single moment or failure (read learning experience) can define you wholly. 

Gain Different Perspectives of Related Concepts

Truly understanding something requires a great deal of effort and capturing the essence of a concept is no minor ordeal. By gaining different perspectives of the same or related ideas, you widen your vision.

We’ve all been in the middle of a conversation and think, ‘Oh yeah, I was just talking about this the other day.’ Or overhear a conversation about a topic that is related to what you were just thinking about.

Everyone that we come across in life has had a distinct set of experiences that formulates their world view and perspective of how things work. Surely, no two individuals have had the exact same experiences. We’re all different and that’s what makes us unique and interesting.

There is something to gain (in fact a lot to gain) from individuals’ perspectives that have been influenced by different experiences than the perspective that we always focus on (that is our own perspective). When working out an idea or trying to understand something, polling others or having an intellectual conversation with someone who is different than you is helpful in coming at the idea from a different angle.

And when approaching a concept from a different angle, maybe you see a part of the idea that you hadn’t considered before. This deepens your understanding of the concept and helps you relate to the individual that brought you to this more holistic view.

The more frequently that you engage with others and truly accept someone else’s ideas as equal to your own, you become more accepting and inclusive. You begin to exercise a growth mindset. And quite frankly, become easier to work with.

In Closing

Thanks for hearing (or reading?) me out. I’ve talked to many people about this and am proud of myself from an intellectual and accountability standpoint to be able to not only formulate my ideas into words but actually enact these ideas in my daily life. If you’d like to discuss, refer to my third point above, because I’m all ears. :)